Earlier this week Katie asked if she could take one of her friends to a movie this afternoon. We’d agreed and at lunch I asked her which friend she’d decided to take.
“Miranda who?” I asked. She told me.
“Has Miranda ever been arrested?” I inquired seriously.
“Does she sell drugs? Is she a TV preacher?” I inquired further.
“That’s good,” Jackson said. “You gotta be careful of those evangelicals.”
“Well, does she have a job?” I asked.
“She’s only 12!”
“That’s no excuse,” Jackson opined. “How is she going to support herself without a job?”
“Daddy! She lives with her parents!”
Jackson and I met eyes across the table. “Moocher!” we both said.
Katie gave a disgusted sigh and shook her head. She turned her attention to her plate.
“Was she ever in the military?” I asked.
"Is she a conscientious objector? Or is she just unwilling to serve?”
“I don’t even know what that means!” Katie said.
“Who did she vote for in the last election?” Jackson asked.
“She can’t vote!”
I looked over at Jackson. “Sounds like a communist to me.”
“I thought so too,” he said. “What kind of twelve year old joins the communist party?”
“Such a shame,” I said, shaking my head.
Jackson raised an eyebrow at Katie. “Miranda probably listens to Rush Limbaugh,” he said accusingly.
“Who is Rush Limbaugh?” Katie asked.
“Exactly!” Jackson said, waving a fork at her.
We ate in silence for a few minutes.
“You're sure she’s never been arrested?” I asked again.
“Yes!!” Katie all but yelled.
“If she keeps this up, she’ll be arrested sooner or later,” Jackson said sadly. I nodded in remorseful agreement.
I can’t wait until she starts trying to date.