Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Chrismas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree, wherefore art thou, Christmas Tree?

By nine o'clock on Tuesday the 26th I had the Christmas detritus packed up and gone. I'm not a total Scrooge, but at 12:01 a.m. on the 26th, Yuletide Decor officially morphs into Seasonal Craptacula. I like putting up the tree the day after Thanksgiving but I like taking it down the day after Christmas even more.

We finally bought a new tree this year. It is a little smaller and a whole lot easier to deal with than the old one. The old one was retro cool. That's not really true, it was just old. And bulky.

I was sort of dreading putting away the new tree. We hadn't gotten rid of the old tree. It was still in the living room coffin where it is stored for most of the year. I was excited to be rid of the tree and the stockings and the garland, but I really didn't feel like boxing up the old tree and taking it the Salvation Army. I also felt a little guilty because I really meant to take the old tree over there much earlier so someone could actually use it during the season. The road to hell..., eh?

The stocking were removed from the chimney with care and the skirt of the Christmas tree cleaned of cat hair. The ornaments were nestled all snug in their boxes and we got prepared for the next equinoxes.

(Nothing, nothing! rhymes with boxes. Except foxes. And maybe axes.)

Finally, I could put it off no longer and had to open the coffin. Opening the coffin with the old tree in it is a decidedly Fibber McGee experience and usually results in some sort of body piercing by plastic pine parts. But not this time!

The coffin opened and nothing fell out. It was empty! I was very pleasantly surprised and thought nice things about Jackson who had obviously already dropped off the old tree at the collection box. He was still asleep, so I didn't thank him for thinking ahead. I didn't think about it again, until

yesterday. Yesterday when Jackson asked me if I'd taken the old tree to the Salvation Army or if I just threw it away.


He didn't take it anywhere. I didn't take it anywhere. We have no idea what happened to it.

Its just gone.

And that's kind of spooky.


reverendmother said...


This post was vintage Rach.

Loved. It.

ppb said...

spooky pie!h

jonboy said...

That coffin is a portal. To where, who knows, but when your old Christmas tree, busted ornaments and cats who used to live at your house show up for revenge ...

bill said...

An entire religion could develop around this.

I think you should tell us more about the coffin in your living room.

zorra said...

I think it felt unloved and in the way, and silently slipped away.
But the portal idea is pretty intriguing. Better not get into the box yourself. Or if you do, please report back.

C. Wright said...

Could it be Maria who cleans at will? However, I have pictured her dusting and sweeping hurriedly around the coffin.

Anonymous said...

I visited yesterday and was unable to post my entry; sooo, I am trying again.
I totally relate to your line about the cat hair on the tree skirt.
I'm anxious to know what you may be putting into that empty tree coffin. This could become a series...
I am leaving my 9ft., pine cones in every branch, tree standing until we have some snow here!! If this never happens, then I suppose I will take it all down when I can't stand looking at Christmas any longer. I decorate my whole house, and it is such a chore, I like to enjoy it after all the hooplah, when I can spend time, without all the work.

little david said...

Good ol' Doc says:
pernicious poxes,
big lummoxes,
tasty loxes, and
the James M. Coxes:
those all rhyme with equinoxes.

SpookyRach said...

Oh. Wow.

Pernicious Poxes. My new all-time favorite words. How am I gonna work that into a sentence?