2006 is giving me a headache.

Ten o'clock. I have a cat on my feet. The really whacked movie on the Independent Film Channel channel is done. Jackson is scrounging through the kitchen, looking for munchies. He's not likely to find any.

This is not exactly how we'd planned to spend New Year's Eve. But it's emblematic of 2006, which has vaguely sucked.

Jackson and I had planned to have a New Year's Eve party, but we never had the chance to make any plans or get anyone invited. Katie was with her "other" family so we decided to get a room in the Cool Little City to the North and go find a jazz combo or pub band to ring in the New Year with. Hinder was playing in town, too. There were lots of possibilities.

We packed our little bags and drove away in the bright, cold sunshine. The wind was howling straight out of the North and chapping the roadways, drying them off from the rain and ice we'd had a couple of days earlier.

When we arrived at the hotel, the lobby was packed. And the people were grumbling. We had no idea what was going on. A harried desk clerk was yelling out to anyone who came in the door.

"If you don't have a reservation, we're sold out!"

The loud-mouthed lady about halfway back in the line explained all. I-40 was closed starting a quarter of a mile to the west. She said the next over-pass past the hotel was a solid sheet of ice and that continued all the way into Colorado. Another interstate, running through Oklahoma, was closed as well. A lot of people had come south to take I-40, hoping it would be open sooner. No such luck.

Of course, the hotel lost our reservation. Naturally there was no way to get a room anywhere in town. But, what the hell, we could go sleep in our own bed after nothing more than an hour's drive south. These folks couldn't say that. Jackson said he thought this 'no room at the inn' bit was a Christmas thing, not New Year's.

So, we went shopping, ate BBQ and went home to another lovely Netflix New Year's. (After watching the IFC movie, we watched Sin City. Which was pretty darn good, but then I nearly always like Robert Rodriquez movies.)

Before we left CLCttN, we went to the mall for a bit. Jackson sat out in the hallway while I spent the Hot Topic gift card Katie gave me for Christmas. I had my bag that's made out of this material with me.

The girl with the green hair and huge tattoo across her naked back and the multiple facial piercings said she really liked it. I felt so proud. This may be the first time they didn't think I was a narc.

And since we are at home, we can have my favorite Trailer Trash New Year's Meal: Jackson's Super-Sweet Cornbread, black-eyed peas from my own garden and a whole can of fried Spam. Yessireebob - we are such gourmands. We'll save you some left-overs!

Friday Cemetery Blogging

It's raining.

There is no better way to get ready for work than to do it to the rhythm of the rain on the bathroom skylight. Its even better if that rhythm can lull you to sleep. Or if you can roll out of bed, put on some old clothes and head outside for a wet walk.

I've always wanted to live someplace like Seattle or London where it rains so often that you might actually wear out an umbrella. Is there some sort of condition, opposite of Seasonal Affective Disorder, whereby you become depressed by too much sun and heavy grey clouds leave you feeling energized and wanting to work outside?

Maybe this is all just a side effect of growing up in the desert south.

In Memorium

Caution: If you are one of my IRL friends, please note that this post will discuss matters that will once again remind you of your advanced age. (All my friends are way, way older than me and some of them find it painful to be reminded of this.) (Congratulations to C/P who has tipped the balance and now the majority of my IRL buddies are grandparents. My lord, do you realize how freakin' old y'all all are??)

Hee hee.

I have nothing of any real value to tell you, except to share my one memory of Gerald Ford. When I was just a wee little 4 year old kid, I remember sitting down in front of the TV during the evening news. My mom was in the kitchen cooking supper. I watched TV for a while and they kept showing some tall, bald man and talking about what the president did and what the president said and many, many other things about the president. I yelled to my mom in the kitchen.

"Who is the president?"

Mom evidently thought I asked 'who is the first president' because she said

"George Washington."

It was years - YEARS - later before I learned that George Washington and Gerald Ford were two different people.

This is Madeline

She's thrilled to be here.

Merry Day After Christmas!

Evil Steve sez...

You can't see me.

Friday Cemetery Blogging

Death...

the great equalizer.

Random Useless Stuff in my head.

RUS = Random Useless Stuff. I have a head full of it.

I got to work today and discovered everyone else is in the same craptacular mood as I am. We are generally pissed off and wildly stressed. We decided screw it - we ain't comin' to work tomorrow. And hell, we may not even come back till the middle of next week. The boss, or Firestarter Bill as I like to call him, pointed out that 2006 has generally sucked. And not just for us or for probation or for Fake Cow County in general. 2006 has been a predominantly crappy year for pretty much the vast majority of the human race. We all agree that 2007 will be better. But we still aren't coming to work tomorrow. (Thank god for county holidays!)

This my first post on the new fangled blogger.

I am totally in the mood to paint (while wearing my nifty new day o' the dead suit of not-quite-armour that Mindy made for me) but I have no ideas for subject matter. Anybody got any ideas?

Last week Jackson asked if I could paint him a replica of the part of the Sistine chapel where God reaches out to Adam. HA! As if! (It was pretty cool that he actually thought I might could do that, though. I think he may be tired of the fedora paintings that are all I seem to be doing lately. Who the hell paints fe-freakin'-doras?)

...and everything I paint is purple.

There is probably some sort of Freudian sense that could be made out of that, but I'm not going to try to do it.

We have a fraidy cat at home. Evil Steve has scared the holee hell out of Madeline (formerly known as Mathias) to the point that the cat will not come out from under my great-grandmother's chair. She lives there, day and night, slipping out now and again for sustenance and an attempt to make it all the way to the litter box before Evil Steve catches her again and makes the litter box unnecessary.

My friend C. Wright sent me the coolest book EVER. Check it out. You should also buy many, many books from this store. The owner is a member of C. Wright's Collection of Weird People. C. Wright has a pretty extensive collection of odd and assorted people and she lurks on all your blogs. You may be a member of her collection and not even know it.

Dr. McCoy is the patron saint of the C. Wright Collection. Someday when I have more time I will tell you why.

...and that's why I/you/we could never work at the bank.

That phrase has become the official ending to all stories told at work. Its like some sort of benediction. It is an expression of the understanding that things have gone too far and none of us are fit for polite company any longer.

My neck is killing me.

I'm watching the Biography Channel profile on Tim LaHaye while I'm typing. I think its sort of interesting that his son-in-law calls him "Dr. LaHaye".

I wonder if my neck would feel better if I changed the channel?

I finally got most of my Christmas cards addressed. They are going in the mail tomorrow - I swear! I'm am so ready for Christmas to get here. We're not 'ready', but damn, I am sooo ready. Know what I mean? Did I mention my neck hurts?

Its rainy and cold outside. I think I'll make a fire. And maybe some hot tea...

Yesterday Jackson did all the laundry and helped Katie with her homework while I slept through an afternoon of Midsomer Murder reruns. Tonight he is taking her to photography class after braving the horror that is Wal-Mart in search of cat food. Isn't he cool?

That's what I know tonight. What do you know?

Deskscape

Headless has been reading about other people's desks. Here's what is on mine:

(In addition to the boring and plebian computer and phone.)

Box of Kleenex
Wonder Woman notepad
A wind up nun that walks and spews sparks from her mouth.
A set of gargoyle pens
A desktop dart game that I use as a letter holder
A veritable bucket o' pens and highlighters (one of which is a skull pen that lights up when you use it)
Business Cards that make me sound like a grown up
Appointment Cards
Stickies (i.e. post it notes and flags)
Steno pad full of phone notes
A Vanilla Bean candle by Henri Rendel from Bath and Body works. (Smells like Carmex.)
A Route 44 Sonic cup full of cherry diet dr. pepper
4 files
1 legal pad and portfolio
A stack of papers over three inches high
A note attached to a mangaled, rumpled and partially missing sheet of paper documenting some sort of community service. The note says: "My mother's dog got my paper I swear on my mother's grave I'm not making this up but the number job where I did it and the nurse I did it with I'm sure can call her and she will tell you and fax another copy please don't send me to jail!"

Friday Cemetery Blogging

I couldn't figure out how to take a picture of this highly polished stone without my white tennis shoes showing up in it. I finally gave up and made it a self-portrait.

So, I have been a totally boring blogger for the last couple of weeks. I decided to take Mindy up on her offer of a letter. She gave me H. I have to come up with 10 things a I love that start with H.

1. Hell - Its one of my favorite words. Depending on tone and inflection, it can mean anything, both good and bad.

2. Hats - I love fedoras and berrets and baseball caps. I don't get to wear them much anymore, except for spending my weekends in a baseball cap. If I could write my own corporate dress code, it would consist of boots, jeans, t-shirt, suit jacket and a hat. (Maybe that's why they don't let me do the dress code...)

3. Heroes - sandwiches and comic book characters. Love 'em both.

4. Home - I love to be at home. My house isn't perfect, but its comfortable, quiet and peaceful. Most of the time no one yells. Most of the time no one argues. Most of the time the cats don't puke. Its not fancy, its not trendy, its not stylish. But its fun and I love the peace and quiet. Home is bright and sunny in the daytime; dark and cozy in the evening.

5. Hominy - I don't love hominy. But I like it. It starts with H.

6. Highways - Road trips, exploring, site seeing. One of the best things about exploring cemeteries is that every place has one. We take off in search of dead people. We see towns, farms, coyotes, tarantulas, snakes, deer, playa lakes, grain elevatores, circle systems, churches, Dairy Queens, football fields, cotton, corn, maize, pheasant, skunks, draws, and the occassional tree. We have good highways in Texas. I try to get my money's worth out of them.

7. Horns - I played the French Horn in school. Not particularly well. I played it much like one would play a kazoo. If I couldn't hum the song, I couldn't play the song. I got a scholarship from the world's most desperate music professor to play French Horn for the band in college. All the other horn players had graduated the year before. I only stuck with it for one semester - they expected us to meet everyday for rehersal and then to *gasp* practice outside of class. (The theme songs from Star Trek the Next Generation and Star Trek Voyager have some really great horn parts.)

8. Halloween - Duh.

9. Honeysuckle - Nothing - nothing! - on this planet smells better.

10. Hash browns - Heh. Had a bit of trouble coming up with a tenth one. (But shredded potatoes are really, really good.)

Just in time for Christmas.

Mindless Holiday Meme

1. Eggnog or Hot Chocolate? Unequivically Egg Nog. Hot Chocolate is ok, but I am morally opposed to those little marshmallows.
2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? Um, I guess he just puts them under the tree. I haven't ever really noticed.
3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? White or maybe solid blue.
4. Do you hang mistletoe? Nah.
5. When do you put your decorations up? Whenever we can get to it. Never before the Friday after Thanksgiving and they come the hell down the day after Christmas - no ifs, ands or buts. Take 'em down and pack 'em up. Put the balls in the closet and the tree back in the coffin.
6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)? Hot rolls, mashed potatoes and the sweet potato casserole with the pecans and brown sugar on top. (Hi. My name is spookyrach and I'm a carboholic.)
7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child? All those great meals, crowed around my grandparents big, square dining table.
8. When or how did you learn the truth about Santa? I didn't ever actually believe in Santa.
9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? Yep. Sometimes all of 'em. Then we spend Christmas with Jackson's family and my family gets together for Christmas on New Year's. Dad always has to work on Christmas anyway.
10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree? We have the coolest Christmas tree around. For years and years, my friend Janet has been buying me an ornament for my birthday in January. The first one she gave me was Wonder Woman. Now I have Superman, Catwoman, Batman, the Incrrdible Hulk, Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman from Casablanca, Captain Picard (cause every tree needs a sexy bald guy), Princess Leia, R2D2, Darth Vader's ship, the Tasmanian Devil, the Flash, the Wicked Step Mother from Snow White (I thought that one was especially appropriate), Krusty the Clown, Scooby Doo and a few others I'm probably forgetting. I get to open my ornament present on my birthday and get all excited about it. Then I pack it up with the others and forget about it until Christmas when I get to open it and get all excited all over again. It's a double duty gift!
11. Snow! Love it or Dread it? I love it. I don't mind driving in the snow as long as their aren't a lot of other idiots out on the road, mucking things up.
12. Can you ice skate? I don't know, I've never tried.
13.Have you ever fallen on the ice? Oh yeah. Repeatedly.
14. Do you remember your favorite gift? Jackson gave me three snazzy gargoyles the first year we were married. That was cool. When I was a kid I got a frisbee with a hole in the center. That sucker flew farther and faster than any plastic disc before or since. I still have it. I hoard it in a box in the closet and don't let anyone else play with it. Heh.
15. What's the most important thing about the Holidays for you? Finding a good Christmas card picture.
16. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? Lemon Chess Pie.
17. What is your favorite holiday tradition? I guess it would be the Christmas on New Year's thing. Saves us from trying to determine who's going where when.
18. What tops your tree? A sparkly star.
19. Which do you prefer giving or receiving? I like 'em both. I really love it when I can find the exact, perfect, most coolest gift ever for someone. That is a lot of fun.
20. What is your favorite Christmas Song? I love O Holy Night when it's done well. Any of the old songs in minor keys are good. I really enjoy congregational singing of Christmas music in church. I pretty much despise most other Christmas music. I don't want to hear it on the radio. I don't want to hear it from the soprano soloist or the impressive ensemble in church. I don't want to hear it in the grocery store or the doctor's office. If I am elected president, I will ban Away in a Manger, Silent Night and Sleigh Ride. Absolutely. Christmas music is best when sung by a group of untrained amateurs. It is a participatory sport. Otherwise, it sucks. (Well, except for the Trans-Siberian Orchestra. Went to see them a couple of weeks ago and that was totally incredible. But, even with them, my favorite part of the show was after the sappy Christmas story, when they just starting playing kick-ass music. I wish they would do a Halloeen CD...)
21. CANDY CANES!! YUCK OR YUM?? Vast ambivalence on this issue.
22.What is your favorite Christmas movie? ~steps back up on the soap box~ I hate Christmas moves. I really, really do. I am such a scrooge about it. Yes some of them are funny. And some of them are touching. But, damn, I don't like to be touched. For the most part, they are stitled, affected and heavily cheezed.
23. Rudolph, Frosty the Snowman or Charlie Brown? Charlie Brown. That is the one Christmas show I will sit down and watch. I do love me some scrawny Christmas tree and some rich jazz.

Just a bit of nothing.

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