Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Wednesday Adventures

So, I talked to my Dad this afternoon.


He is home from the hospital and seems to be doing well. The big problem now is arranging care for my mom and making some modifications that will allow her to do some things that had previously been handled by my dad.


My wretched sibling has been down there with them since I left on Sunday.


Dad said he is feeling pretty good. He goes until he gets tired, then stops. Sounds like a pretty good plan to me. He told me all about Jonboy building a new ramp for the front door which will let mom get her motorized chair in and out of the house, unaided. He mentioned that they'd enjoyed his company immensely. Then he said it:


"We've really been having some great gourmet cooking while he's been here. Even his presentation is spectacular! He puts just the right portion on the plate and arranges it artstically and it looks so good that even tasteless meals taste good! His cooking has been just wonderful! Last night he made some stuffed squash and sauteed some vegetables in olive oil... and..."


It was at that point that he realized that starting tomorrow he will be stuck with me for the next four days at least. It was a sobering thought. He started to back pedal.


"Ahem, well, you know, Jonboy's always had to follow his diabetic diet and he has learned how to cook healthy food as pleasingly as possible..." he said.


"uh-huh." I said.


"And, uh, well..." he floundered.


"yep," I said.


"I guess we could have turkey sandwiches and baked chips once you get here?"




I hate Jonboy.




But he's not the only one. When I got back to work this week, one of the first things my friends wanted to know was what my mom had been eating. They were concerned that I was responsible for arranging meals. They wanted to know if they needed to send casseroles. I told 'em their worries were entirely unfounded. In addition to multiple daily forays into the hospital cafeteria, I had done a spectacular bit of frozen pizza preparation followed by stellar exhibition of sandwich assembly.


HA! Be quashed, you doubters!


I think they're just jealous because none of them married a Jackson who cooks dinner for them every night. And if I learned to cook, then what would happen to that spasm of self-preservation that motivates Jackson to keep doing the food prep? Hmm?


Somethings just aren't worth learning.

19 comments:

ppb said...

indeed!

Rev Kim said...

Okay, these similarities between Jackson and Dave are getting down-right scary. First, the making up songs thing (and I had alot of that on a six-hour road trip today). Dave does all of the cooking for us, too. It just tastes so much better when someone else cooks!

Glad your dad is home.

Princess of Everything (and then some) said...

Maybe your parents would like it if Jackson came to stay instead of you. I'm just saying!


and I am not jealous....he would taunt me with clowns all the damned time.

Baby Gator said...

Rach, I wanna be interviewed!!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!!

Ester said...

Let's see......you are smart.....you can read....Mindy did bring a load of cook books to share with us......pick up a few and stop by the grocery store on your way out to mom's.

Wait.....I believe this was on the Twylight Zone, never mind!

Just stop and buy lean turkey for the sandwiches!

DogBlogger said...

Thanks for the update on your dad.

I'm glad The Alpha is our primary chef. I *can* cook, I just don't really *like* to.

Unless it's a dessert...

Phiz said...

well I'm jealous, that's for sure!

zorra said...

LOL!
So glad your dad is home. Your folks will be so glad to have you there with them, they won't care what you fix (or don't fix).

Dijea said...

You should surprise them with a deli roasted chicken & wedge salads (absolutely no work there) - they won't be expecting that & you won't even have to assemble the turkey sandwiches.

annie said...

Poor Mom and Dad. You should have gone to stay with them first. ANY kind of food would probably have tasted excellent when compared to the hospital food! Your food offerings might have stood a better chance.

I'm glad he is doing better and will continue to pray as they make adjustments.

I enjoyed your posts about the "entertainment" in the waiting room and such. Rednecks can be quite entertaining (I should know, I have a family tree that is crawling with them!).

Presbyterian Gal said...

You just tell your mama and daddy that if they wanted you to grow up to be a good cook they shouldn't have made such a brilliant gorgeous daughter that men want to wait on hand and foot and a wretched son with nothing better to do than play with pots and pans.

Then ask who they'd really really rather be next to when the big one hits. I'll bet it's you.

Or, you can really scare them. Go buy a copy of "White Trash Cooking" and bring it with you, saying "I took your advice and got me some vittle fixing lessons!"

ElastiGirl said...

I wouldn't cook if Mr Incredible would - but someone in the house has to...

Trace said...

Rach ~ I just finished catching up here, on all your witty articles, as I've been kinda' "laid up" from a knee arthroscopy, and haven't been regular--at reading the favorite blogsites, that is!! :) I enjoy the visit here so...you've surely put a big ole' smile on my face, and I'll bet you weren't even thinking about that-heh!
I am sorry to hear about your daddy having such a difficult time of it; but, I am also glad to hear things are better. You all hang in there, and I'll also remember your dad in my thoughts and prayers--your mama too...

Grace, Every Day said...

Presby Gal has it all together. What she said.

Glad your dad is well...

jonboy said...

I don't know what Prebyterian Gal has been smoking, but it has significantly skewed her views ... Jackson and I should get together and start our own restaurant. Will get Uncle D involved and call it 3 Guys Cooking bar and grill.

C. Wright said...

Your dad knows the way to get you to bust your butt to do better than your best is to brag on jonboy's abilities. Tell them hello for us,glad they are doing well.

Presbyterian Gal said...

Well, the comment I added this morning was just so delicious and blogger ate it!

Jonboy: Not smokin' anything, just breathing Southern Calif. smog.

and if I'm really really lucky, my views will end up just as skewed as the fine writer of this blog. ;)

Baby Gator said...

I also was wondering if you could talk to Jackson and see if he will come and cook for me every night. How do you get an arrangement like that??? Can you hook me up???

Cowtown Pattie said...

Ah, but does the Jack-man wash laundry and fold it AND put it away without being told to?

Does he unload the clean dishes from the dishwasher so you can start the evening meal with a clean kitchen?

....wait....

Scratch that last item. Doesn't pertain, does it?

You are such a hoot.

Wishes for your parents speedy recovery from Rach's Adventures in Gastronomy*.

*In paperback soon in your local book seller's cellar.