Friday, September 07, 2007

More Adventures and a Couple of Faker Bullets

I haven't spent much time in the waiting room so far today. Mom and I have been hanging out in Dad's luxury ICU cube. Ah, the joy. He is feeling better and is only still there because he has a slight fever. Feeling well enough to be a total grouch. I suppose he has good reason.

But he's skeered the poor little nurses.

Dad's always been one of those people who wakens from a deep sleep slinging punches. My brother and I used to like to stand just out of reach and then yell, just to watch the show. This tendency apparently carries over into anesthesia as well.

When they tried to awaken him following surgery, he decided he needed to get out of bed.

That's ok, nurses can handle it, right? Well...

My father is 6 feet, 7 inches tall and weighs probably close to 300 pounds. His nurse was a nice little oriental lady. You do the math. They eventually had three nurses in his room and ended up tying him to the bed. He was. not. pleased. *snicker*

The nurses kept coming out of there, wiping the sweat off their brows and muttering "he's so strong!" Now he has a male nurse in a Harley Davidson do-rag. *more snickering*

* I can also tell he's feeling better because I had to listen to most of last Sunday's sermon yesterday afternoon. I think he was peeved that he hadn't gotten to preach it. Jonboy owes me because he wasn't here for it. Owes. me. big.

* Oh, you'll be pleased to know Mr. Couth just walked in. White t-shirt today. He brought food. Wonder if it's possum? His father is in the lavish, dee-lux ICU bed next door to Dad's. Poor man is still hooked up to a breathing machine, still comatose. But I noticed he is wearing his glasses...

* Stop the presses and call the president! Mr. Couth has solved the crisis in Iraq! It seems we should pull "our boys" back home (ladies stay behind, I suppose) and tell those towel wearers they got six months to work it out for themselves or we're coming back to bomb them off the face of the earth. Hmm, why didn't George think of that? I'm sure history will come to call this the "Don't Make Me Stop This Car" doctrine of diplomacy.

* In a bit of a role reversal, the local funeral home sent flowers to my dad.

15 comments:

Rachel said...

Your post today was very enjoyable. (?) Not sure if I can say that considering the circumstances. It is just that I noticed that you run to humor when the times get tough and that is what I do. Nice to meet someone who likes the same things I do: humor in odd moments and cemeteries!


My prayers are still with you and your family.

Rev Kim said...

Glad to hear your dad is doing so much better.

Mr. Couth's approach to diplomacy & foreign policy is similar to that of so many in my family it's just scary.

Princess of Everything (and then some) said...

~howls with laughter at all of it...just ALL of it~

Ester said...

Ok, consider yourself lucky because you did not have to listen to Bill's jokes during our free soft drinks and ice cream break!

Maybe you needed to listen to your Dad's sermon.......

I still think you should use the camera phone!

Mr. C should be running for President, don't you think?

Prayer for you and all!

Christopher said...

Mr.ctc has relatives "up" here in Indiana as well... prayers to you and yours.

Quotidian Grace said...

I hope you're making it up about the flowers from the funeral home for your dad! Makes you wonder if they are re-cycled. Creepy.

Glad to hear Dad is improving and giving the nurses heck.

zorra said...

So glad your dad is better. I'll keep praying. He reminds me of my dad during his last trip to the ICU, when he was out of bed and down the hall before two large male nurses caught up with him; he had to be restrained in bed, too. One of the nurses told me, "He said he was going to Mississippi. I told him it would be a long walk." Laugh and cry...

Presbyterian Gal said...

BWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA *holding my sides in*

My dad is the agnostic, 5 inches shorter, other side of your dad. They could be brothers. Only instead of a sermon I would get "people are no damn good. Get me out of this ***king place". As my mom would field complaint calls from nurses.

The funeral home flowers is just too much.

Still praying for you and your family.

Mile High Pixie said...

While I shouldn't be laughing, my dark sense of humor finds your last two bullet points hilarious. And aren't those "deluxe" ICU rooms just lovely? One could almost breakdance in them (which I hear helps the healing process).

I wasn't aware your papa was having health issues. You'll be in my thoughts.

Baby Gator said...

Lol, I had no idea that that was the way to solve the whole conflict in the middle east. Why did no one else think of this???

RevDrKate said...

Glad to hear dad is better. Skeering the nurses is always a good sign. Love the finely warped humor here, indeed I do! Also voting for the camera phone.

Janie said...

Wow. Glad to hear your dad is healing and feeling better.

I love that Jonboy owes you big.

Brother Scotte owes me big, too, but I'm going to drag out telling everyone why.

We should always keep the upper advantage with our brothers, don't ya think?

Glad to hear the good news, Rach.
Still keeping y'all in my prayers!

The Vicar of Hogsmeade said...

Flowers from the funeral home! I laughed so loud I woke up the dog.

Hope your dad is well enough to preach to the choir instead of you soon.

Cathy said...

The funeral home flowers were too much -- very interesting!

Hoping your dad gets better by the day!

Cowtown Pattie said...

Hope your dad is doing much much better.

Sick parents scare the beejeebers our of you, and when they finally get "out of the woods", you wished they'd get lost again. (Nah, just kidding...I think.)

Sounds like we have had similar new jobs...

And the stories of waiting room idjits...oh, lordy.