Friday, September 15, 2006

This was supposed to be an Audioblog...

...Audioblogger will let me record 'till I'm blue in the face, but steadfastly refuses to publish it to my blog. I don't know if that's some sort of editorial comment, or what?

My phone rang yesterday afternoon. When I answered, I heard Larry's voice. I've been working with Larry for a long, long time. Up until about a year ago, I was being pretty well snowed by this guy. Not anymore. Not for a while.

Larry had an appointment to see me yesterday.

He called to tell me that he couldn't make it. He had a job interview and they were going to do a physical and he really thought he had a shot at it and of course, he really needed this job. Nooo problem, Larry. I could certainly reschedule that appointment for such a good reason as this. Why didn't he just plan to come see me Friday afternoon?

He agreed and hung up the phone.

Larry, Larry, Larry... This is the 21st Century! Welcome to the wonderful world of caller ID!

Admittedly, caller ID has made my job harder in a lot of ways. But this time it did me good. I waited a few seconds and redialed the number Larry called from.

"Crossroads," the bartender answered the phone. Crossroads is the new name of the Elbow Bend which is a crummy little bar a couple of blocks from my office. Elbow Bend was a much better name, don't you think?

I gave her my best blonde voice: "Hey, hun. Can I talk to Larry again? This is Rachel."

"Sure, sweetie," she said and hollered for Larry.

When he answered I asked him what the hell he was doing there. He was a bit flustered and said "Uh, where?"

"At the bar, Larry. Why are you at a bar?"

"Uh, who is this?"

When that didn't work, he finally blurted out "I just came in here to use the phone!"

I told Larry he could head straight out the door and walk the two blocks to my office. He was going to have to give me a urine specimen for a drug test. That was at 2:00 p.m. yesterday. As of this morning, Larry hasn't shown up. Evidently he got lost in those two blocks from there to here. I need to get his face on a milk carton, ASAP. Either that or have him arrested.

Guess which one I'm going to do?


jonboy said...

Sob story ... Is it a heart-wrenching story of the underprivileged overcoming odds to better themselves? Or is it a story made up by a real SOB.

cheesehead said...

I love this! LOL

P.M. Prescott said...

Haven't you just about heard them all by now?

Greek Shadow went to the dark side and is in limbo. Beta blogger is turning into a black hole.
I'm posting now under the real name. Say hi if you like.

Princess of Everything (and then some) said...

Lost in a blizzard I tell ya!!

It amazes me that there ARE new stories that we have never heard each and every week!

annie said...

I bet you have heard some doozies. And I can imagine you hear new stories every week, there is no limit to the creative mind when it comes to making excuses for our behavior.

But dang, how stupid does he think you are?

Quotidian Grace said...

Sending the TTOJ out for him, are you?


If you can't teach 'em, you'll learn 'em!

Patti said...

Larry, Larry, Larry. What is he thinking? Or not.

Miss Kitty said...

Priceless! Man, that's a good one. Hard to believe in this age of super-duper technology that people forget about Caller ID. I'm still laughing!

Bad Alice said...

I wonder if our HR person has caller ID . . .? Of course, I have a cell phone, so I could really be on the side of the road with a stalled car.

little david said...

OK, let me get this straight. You tell us this sad little story about how Audioblogger just didn't work for you, then you tell us all about Larry and his particular story. Hmmm.

I guess if Larry had been smart enough to know about caller ID, he might have been clever enough to stay out of trouble. But it doesn't always work that way, does it?

BTW, I loved seeing your highly decorated shoes this morning in Sunday school. Yes, folks, she wore them to church!

reverendmother said...

You ROCK spooky!

And boo! on audioblogger! Censorship! Censorship!

bebo_tech_unt said... stupid can people be?????

Jane Dark said...

Oh, man. Glad I'm not Larry.

Jeff said...

Arrrr .... have at the scurvy dogs! Methinks we oughtta send 'em to Davey Jones' locker! Lay alongside 'em, give 'em a round of shot and powder ... then board 'em, and let 'em taste steel!

Christmas Lights in June, Texas said...

PICK ME!!! ~raising her hand high in the air~ I know the answer to this one!!!