Tuesday, September 19, 2006

English 101

I think I've told you before that I keep a list of what we call probation diseases. There are all sorts of medical terms that our people don't quite get exactly right. We've had people who had "lollipops" in their colon or who were suffering from "amonia". One of my all time favorites is the grandmother who called in one day to say Johnny wouldn't be at community service because he was in the hospital. He'd just had a "peace treaty" put in his heart.

Sometimes they get phrases wrong as well.

Rose told me about a lady who came in to report this week. She is having a tough time dealing with her son. She's at her wits end. He has discovered the temper tantrum and likes to throw himself on the floor and "scream bloody mary".

Sometimes I scream "margarita!"

17 comments:

Christmas Lights in June, Texas said...

Lol, we have people at work who say stuff wrong all the time, but after all they are MHMR. Maybe you should get some of your people tested.

don't eat alone said...

I'll scream "Margarita" right along with you. Which reminds me, Ginger went out for Mexican food while she was in Birmingham and the mariachi band played "Sweet Home Alabama."

Peace,
Milton

P.M. Prescott said...

If I drank I'd scream Margarita with you.
Beta blogger is supposed to be more user friendly than regular blogger, and it is on the template setup. It posts quicker with less problems, but right now it won't let you comment or get comments across formats. Given time more people will switch and it will not be a problem, or they'll get the bugs worked out and it won't be a problem. I'll let everyone know when that happens.

annie said...

Kind of reminds me of the time I was working in a sporting goods store and we had a grandmother calling about an athletic supporter for her grandson who was playing football, only she could not remember what it was called, and she embarrassed to be asking about it. She hemmed and hawed around about what she wanted and finally said, "you know, one of them things to protect his little vagina balls." I had to immediately put the poor woman on hold while I regained my composure. It was not easy after that....

Princess of Everything (and then some) said...

*snickers at vagina balls* This is priceless annie!!

I am going to scream cheesecake.

Christmas Lights in June, Texas said...

Laughs ~vagina balls~

Captainwow said...

I'm with you. I'd much rather scream margarita or even SALTY DOG!!!
or - GIIINNNN GIIIIMMLETTT!!!!!

hahhaaaaaa! thanks for the laff

Miss Kitty said...

I, too, would scream "margarita," though a Bloody Mary would be very nice right about now. Breakfast drinks like those are some of my faves.

Or perhaps I'll just scream "Vagina balls!" just to see what everyone around me in the sporting-goods section at Wal-Mart does.

SpookyRach said...

Oh man, y'all are all funny! I'm thinking we'll have to put "vagina balls" on a t-shirt or an off-broadway play, or something. There has GOT to be a use for that one!

bill said...

During my (very brief) career as a social worker, we used to love the ones who called in to say they were "under the doctor."

Rev Dave said...

My counseling prof once said that during a session with a married couple, the husband made the comment, that when they were married, his wife's 'hyphen' was intact.

My prof said is was all he could do to not ask, 'did you check her semi-colon, too?'

Jeff said...

I scream for ice cream!

annie said...

Disclaimer: Just so everyone knows, I am not responsible for what happens if Miss Kitty walks into the local WalMart and yells out vagina balls.

Lorna said...

laughing ...

Rach your blog is SO good for me!

cheesehead said...

Kind of reminds me of back in the day when people would ask if we "install" IUD's at our clinic, or if we do Pabst Schmears.

I also remember being told that a patient was suffering from "that one vulnerable disease that sounds like a flower"

I think she meant chlamydia. Either that or she had daisies growing in her lady bits.

ppolarbear said...

hee hee

the reverend mommy said...

Heh!
Daisies in the lady bits!
he he he he.