Wednesday, February 24, 2016

100 Things Divorce Taught Me: Part The Second

12.  I haven't taken a decent picture since the split.  Not one.  I've barely even had my camera in my hand.  I guess that's one of those bits of creativity I'm going to have to practice.  And practice I will because I absolutely, completely and adamantly refuse to give that up. Not for anyone.
13.  I am appalled by how happy I am about going back to church, which sort of pisses me off.  I have a bit of a fear that I'm merely returning to my roots - that this is how I was raised and so I've reverted to what is comfortable for me.  I do not want it to be about that.  Not by a long shot.
14,  I've been vaguely thinking about retirement for the past several years.  No real plans, because I am not a planner.  Now my thinking has shifted from 'where will we live' to 'what will I do'?  I still hope to move somewhere else, somewhere more urban probably, but what do I want to do?  Before I was going to get some sort of fluff job and let Mr. PhD support me.  Now, not s'much.
15. There is an empty pizza box in my refrigerator.  It's been there for two weeks.  Partly because it helps the fridge look less empty and mostly because if I throw it away, I'm going to have to take out the trash.  I have learned I hate taking out the trash.
16.  I'm thankful for guy friends and for women who don't mind their husbands being my buddies. So far, I've only had one couple mark me as 'unclean' and remove me from contact with the male half of the double. If you asked he would tell you it's not me, it's him.  He would tell you he was removing himself from the appearance of evil.  He would tell you he's turning away from temptation.  He would tell you that as a 'man of the cloth' he can't take chances with his reputation.  He would be lying.  Don't be that guy.   
17.  That being said, I'm not so thankful that it's evidently ok to be more touchy-feely with me now that I'm not wearing a wedding ring.  It's very subtle.  And I'm not even sure that it's a conscious thing.  But I get patted on the shoulder more.  Or elbowed in the ribs after the really stupid joke.  Or just leaned on.  Stop that.  Don't be that guy.  
18.  This one is just free advice.  I've always thought it was the height of insecurity to do things like having a joint Facebook account.  I still think that.  Don't be those people.  Trust each other.  If you can't trust, then get some help.  You need it. (And yes, this is relationship advice from a divorced person.  That doesn't make me any less right.)  ((See #20.))
19. That time I said I was working to sublimate my natural hermit tendencies and how it hadn't killed me?  I think I might have been premature with the not being killed part.
20.  Being divorced means I am always right.  I was always right before, but now I don't have to prove it to anyone.  It's my way or the doggy door these days.  So far, so good. 


Princess of Everything (and then some) said...

I am freaking loving the lists.

#16) It would be a lie. He was my friend for years and I was single all of that time. He dropped me the same day he dropped you. I guess my leprosy finally caught up.

#18) OMG...I totally agree. Having one account just tells me so much about couples.

annie said...

I'm loving the lists too. You're young. You can find a whole 'nother thing to do!

Lori said...

#15.. totally onboard with this. Husband has been dead almost 17 years and I still to this day curse him when I have to haul the trash to the curb. It's not my damn job. It was always his. And I'm still pissed he isn't here to do it.

#18 People really have joint Facebook accounts? That's just wrong.

#16 I'm grateful every day for my friends who loan me their hubbies to do the "guy" things that I can't do. Mostly I'm pretty handy, but some things aren't in my scope (like electrical stuff)

#13 and yes I am skipping around with numbers... I really doubt this is a true statement. Fear not!

I like your lists. You're right about being right. There are upsides to living alone, eat when you want, what you want, where you want. Only do your own laundry, clean when you feel like it, shop only when absolutely necessary, sleep catty corner across the bed and spread out. Sheets are always clean. That list can be endless.

So far, very good.

Cyn Huddleston said...

I'm always right. He doesn't argue. Experience proves me out. I love divorce Rach. She's my new favorite Rach - right up there with clergy superhero Rach.

spookyrach said...

Holy Mother of Pearl. Just came back from a church meeting.

You can't make a career change just because you like the wardrobe.

D.Lott Arellano said...

#15 Taking out the trash and mowing the lawn are the two periods for which I give myself free reign to cuss the mens. ALL the mens.

#19 Dang. I was hoping you'd figure it out and 'splain it to me.

#20... oh, how I love #20!

spookyrach said...

Yeah. #19 is just plain death. No way around it.

Anonymous said...

So miss your photo's, get back into that asap. CT