Sunday, March 08, 2009

The PTA is probably not going to call on me for guest speaker anytime soon.

Kate flipped through the pages of her science book as I drove her to school Friday morning.   She opened it to a chapter somewhere close to the middle and let out a sigh. 

"We have to do this chapter next week."

I glanced over at a two page spread on the reproductive system.  Sort of an educational centerfold.  I made some sort of non-committal noise. 

"That's why y'all had to sign that paper a couple of weeks ago."

"Ah.  Well, lucky you.  Looks like it should be fun."  She grimaced.  "I'm going to ask you lots of questions about what you learned when you get finished," I said, evilly.

"No, you're NOT!"

"Yes, I am!" I said, mostly because I'm really mature like that. 

"You know what I really hate?  When we have to go pick up trash around the school, there's all these used condoms everywhere."

"Ugh," I said, cause I'm full of really helpful commentary like that.  I wracked my brain for some sort of intelligent response.  "Well, if people are going to be so stupid as to have sex in junior high, at least they're using birth control."

"It's just gross," she said.  I couldn't argue with that. 

Then she told me about one of the girls in her class that's had a baby.  And another girl who's bragged about having sex.  That girl's aunt has told her she's putting her on birth control.  "Can you believe that?" Katie asked.  "We're in junior high and they're putting her on birth control!"

"I can't blame them.  If she's going to be that irresponsible, at least maybe they can prevent her from getting pregnant.  If she gets pregnant as a teenager, she'll end up ruining more lives than just her own." 

"Yeah, I guess," Kate said.

"If your friend keeps having sex, that's all she's going to know.  She'll never learn how to have a real relationship with anyone.  She won't learn how to talk to and connect with guys she's really interested in.  She won't know how to find someone that shares her interests.  That's the best part of hooking up with another person.  All she'll know how to do is screw.  Hell, dogs can screw!  People should be able to do better than that."

Kate looked at me sort of open-mouthed for a moment, then reclined her seat back as far as it would go.  "I'm gonna take a nap."

"We're six blocks from school!"

"I don't care."

"You just don't want me asking you any questions about sex ed," I accused.

She grinned and kept her eyes shut tight.

16 comments:

Presbyterian Gal said...

*Get*Out*!!!
JUNIOR High????

Damn.

(sure like what you had to say there. Now I want to take a nap)

MadPriest said...

This post is blatantly anti-dogist and caninophobic. I will be flagging it up to Blogger for unacceptable content.

Princess of Everything (and then some) said...

Remind me not to ask you any sex ed questions either please!!!!

You actually gave her some really good straight advice in that last paragraph of yours.

reverendmother said...

You done good, in your own inimitable style.

SpookyRach said...

Thanks, guys!

MadPriest: Wow!!! I'm being flagged to blogger. That's almost as good as writing a banned book. hahaha! I love dogs - I swear!!!

jonboy said...

I want to sell t-shirts that say "Hell, dogs can screw!"

Bunny Bunster said...

You were spot on, girl!!
It's a sad world we live in.
I'll have to post about Sonny Boys 4th grade Sex Ed experience.

Althea N. Agape said...

I have no doubt that you will be quoted (although not attributed) when she needs to react to sexual pressures or discuss them with the girlfriends. GREAT QUOTE.

ElastiGirl said...

sounds like a familiar conversation had here - I'll have to blog it - quite funny!!

The Vicar of Hogsmeade said...

The SportsQueen is so with Kate. Thanks for a great entry for our own "mother/daughter" moment.

Cynthia said...

Yes, Dogs can screw. I've seen it. And you can sell the pups for cash or bring them to the Humane society or even prevent the whole thing by having them spayed or neutered when they are a year old.
I applaud you having the guts to broach this with Kate. She may have faked sleep, but she wouldn't have mentioned it at all if she didn't want your take. And a good take it was. Others could copy and paste and use it as a script.

Hot Cup Lutheran said...

goodness motherhood sounds so difficult...

Janie at Sounding Forth said...

Rqch, you are so damn funny.

I'm feeling sleepy myself.

P M Prescott said...

You made some really good points. When your daughter gets older she'll thank you.

Songbird said...

I love what you said.

mid-life rookie said...

Umm can I borrow this - we've had conversations with manBoy - but never went the dogs can screw you can do better route. Sounds pretty effective.