Thursday, October 02, 2008

Friday Cemetery Blogging

Wellllll...


I got home from drunk school just in time to catch the last half of the VP debate. I sat on the floor all through that so Jackson could massage my shoulders and those pesky little sinus pockets on the base of your skull that make you horribly dizzy when you stand up. (He's a nice person. Most of the time. )


So, then I managed to regain my feet long enough to make it to my chair.


It was at that point that I realized the external drive with all the pictures is in my bedroom. And that's waaaaay over there. And I'm waaaaaay over here. And my dog doesn't fetch. And Jackson already rubbed my neck for like half an hour without complaint, so I'd feel guilty about asking him to go get it for me.


Is this not the most pathetic post ever?


Its been a busy week and a weird, weird day. First, my desk ripped a big hole in the knee of my pants this afternoon. It ticked me off, but not as much as it would have had I not had a pair of jeans in the truck that I'd planned to change into to teach tonight. Jeans for the afternoon! Yay!


Then Joe Damien, a new wife-beater on my caseload showed up for his appointment. He has long flowing hair and a compact, muscular little body and a Romanesque nose and he thinks he is so very hot. He's doing everything he is supposed to, except for attending the Batterers Intervention program. The little jerk and I had a Come-to-Jeezus meeting last month about this. His first breath this month was spent informing me of his appointment time for the group meetings.


We concluded our business as quickly as possible because the little skeezoid makes my skin crawl. I handed him his next appointment card and motioned him towards the door, even as I turned toward my keyboard, intending to hurry him along.


He stood just inside my door while he stuffed the card into his wallet. As he did so, he said, "Can I ask you a favor?" I didn't even bother to look at him. "What is it?" I growled.


He cocked at finger at me like he was pointing a gun, clucked his tongue and said, "Will you promise me to have a really great day?"


I just stared at him. It was like an encounter with Disco Stu. I still cannot believe he actually did the finger-gun thing. Gah!


The next appointment on my calendar?


Bondage Roger.


Roger's first words on entering my office? I kid you not - he gave me a big goofy grin and said "They're not working you too hard, now, are they?" Geeze. Was the whole disco inferno vibe related to the fluorescent tubes in my ceiling doing a strobe light impression? Maybe so. Maybe no.


I'm goin' to bed.

15 comments:

Janie said...

You are so funny! I'd not read about Bondage Roger, must have missed that one.

Thanks for helping me start my day with a smile, Rach.

Presbyterian Gal said...

Maybe it was those jeans. Perhaps Joe and Roger picked up that they were headed to drunk class and just wanted to go too.

Bunny Bunster said...

I would love to be a fly on your wall sometime!

DogBlogger said...

Thank you for sharing your really great day with us. */finger gun*

Princess of Everything (and then some) said...

LMAO...it is just so much fun to be around when you get GOT! You never get surprised!! And it happened 2 times!

Why you ask? I think it is that delicate flower vibe you are giving off. Like the daisy's in that 5th grader girl film we saw.

SpookyRach said...

Janie - glad to be of service!

PG - Ha! Somehow, I don't think that was it.

Bunny - There's a fly on my wall right now. Is that you?

DB - Right back at ya, babe!

Mindy - You know that voodoo doll on my filing cabinet? Guess what it's name is now? Guess what I'm doing to it right now? huh? huh? guess!

Dijea said...

If only they would let you set up a web cam. Maybe you could do a web-umentary instead of documentary on your job. Ya, do that. We would all watch.

Hot Cup Lutheran said...

wowzers... i had the *finger gun clucking i'm so hot macho crap* thing happening in my little pastor's office too. romeo wanted to know if i could keep his wedding service under 20 minutes...

longest wedding i've ever done i tell ya... hrmp!

but ah some of your potential future clients have been hangin' around my yard... i'm not excited about it.

Rev Kim said...

bunny buster beat me to it...I'd love to be there when you have a "Come to Jeezus" meeting with someone!

SpookyRach said...

dijea - ah, you'd all be bored after half an hour. ha ha!

HCL - weddings are ALWAYS whacked. Always. That's why if I ever open a photo studio, I'm going to REFUSE to do them. 'Course, I'll have to be independently wealthy first. I HATE weddings and nothing, anywhere, ever, is worse than a mother of the bride.

revkim - you would have enjoyed today. One of my guys asked my I was being nice and NOT having him arrested. I told him first I was going to take all his money, THEN he was going to be arrested. Then we took his picture and fingerprints because I told him we'd be using them to hunt him down if he tried to run. Blatantly untrue, but hopefully effective.

tracy said...

I am also suffering with "dizzy" sinus pain...have had a pressure headache for two days. Screaming would only make the pressure worse. Gonna' go soak my head in a warm pot of witches' brew :)

ElastiGirl said...

my bil taught the ten year old to do the clucky finger gun - it's funny and cute from a ten year old who adds a wink for style points!! not cute above that age...

Crimson Rambler said...

this reminds me of my students (back in my former life)...the guys, especially from the rural demographic, were often quite unsure of how to talk to a "lady prof" (I wasn't either of those, but close enough)...so they would talk like their fathers: "Well, you save some work for Monday, eh"...
it was hilarious.

Gator World!! said...

Oh wow, Disco Stu says hello to you...~two finger guns points~ shakakaka

Gerry said...

Sorry about the jeans, but sh** happens. LOL. Hope you're having a better day.