Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Reason No. 428 Why I'm on the Short Bus To Perdition:

Katie and I were driving home after church on Sunday morning. Since Jackson was out of town, she was happy to get to sit in the front seat. It was a longer drive than usual because I'd let a friend talk me into going to an itty bitty church in a neighboring town.

This has nothing to do with anything, but: I grew up in itty bitty churches. I love 'em. But, damn! I don't miss 'em. I like being one of a crowd.

As we drove, Katie was perusing her Bible.

"I got this for my first communion," she said. "My mom gave it to me."

"I remember," I replied.

"Look at this - I marked my favorite verse."

"Nice! What is your favorite verse?"

She read me the story of Jesus blessing the children. "That's my favorite story. At least, it's my favorite that I've read so far." she told me.

"Very cool!"

I drove on for a few minutes. She continued to page through her Bible. I looked over at her and didn't even think twice before completely giving in to temptation.

"You wanna know what my favorite verse is?" I asked her. "Look up Judges 4:21."

Jael, Heber's wife, picked up a tent peg and a hammer and went quietly to him while he lay fast asleep, exhausted. She drove the peg through his temple into the ground, and he died.

Katie read it out loud and then just stared at me, open-mouthed.

"That...that's just....really harsh!" she finally said. "I can't believe that's in the Bible!"

"Believe it, girlfriend!"

"Oh. my. gosh. That's really, really bad...."

"Yep. Pretty much. So, you better be good, or I'll have to do like they did in the Bible and nail yer temples to the floor."

"Noo!" she yelled and grabbed her head. "My temples are sacred!"


I really like this kid. (Why yes, I am working on my acceptance speech for the Parent of the Year Award. Why do you ask?)

18 comments:

RC said...

let me know how that parent of the year ceremony turns out.

way to jump in and make the moment memorable :-)

Presbyterian Gal said...

Geez, and I thought I had that award aced after my "How Uranus got it's name" joke that I made up this morning for Wonderboy.

You preacher's kids have the edge, I swannee.

Princess of Everything (and then some) said...

That just cracks me up!

But it does worry me that she is developing a sense of humor based on yours.

So totally young to be warped.

Rev Dave said...

1 Kings 3:16...the 3:16 verse you'll never see on a sign at the ball game with some guy with funny hair holding it up for all to see.

SpookyRach said...

Rev Dave: "Batter Up!" (Now I have reason No. 427!)

Gator World!! said...

That was too funny Rach. She is a sweet kid, I like her too. Happy Halloween.

reverendmother said...

All the cool people seem to think they're bound for hell (or as they say in Texas, hay-ull). Sounds like a much more interesting place.

There is some wacked-out sh*t in the book of Judges. You went easy on her.

jonboy said...

Happy Anniversary ... you sick freak!

DogBlogger said...

Muahahaha!

SpookyRach said...

RM - Here at work we often say that we're headed straight to hell, but at least we'll be among friends once we get there.

Ester said...

LOL, if this keeps working out like this.....Katie will never be able to work at the bank either!

P M Prescott said...

What, you didn't show her in Exodus what they do to disobedient children?

Rachel said...

nice...you are my kind of mom...not the boring that just sings songs, kisses your owies, and tucks you in.

Purechristianithink said...

Is it possible that Jael was a gerbil???

Songbird said...

I love this.

SpookyRach said...

Rabid gerbil, no doubt, PCIT.

annie said...

Poor child, your influence on her is so very apparent! How funny. I'm impressed with her comeback.

Christopher said...

Gen 30.16- try this one out for valentine's day for you special someone...