Monday, April 30, 2007

The Voice Mail Lady hates me.

I have a new phone at work.

I am not happy about this.

This phone is nice. It’s black and matches my décor much better than the old one. (To be honest, I don’t really have a “décor”. If I do, it would probably called Graveyard Eclectic. I should totally post some pictures of all the junk I have in here…) The phone blends well with the gargoyle pens. I am a total button geek and the new phone has many, many buttons for me to push, which is cool.

This phone is totally freaking me out, though. It has a huge display of the day and date. The number 7 is mysteriously blacked out anywhere it appears in the display. It’s odd. I reported it to the phone guy, but I’m sure he thought I was a total loony. I wasted a lot of time on Friday, the 27th, staring at the screen, waiting for the time to change to some sort of variant of seven, just to make sure I wasn’t nuts. I wasn’t, as I discovered at 7:35, 8:57 and 9:17.

The 7 thing is weird. Also weird is the fact that the computer-generated operator-voice is the same exact voice our old system had. Makes me think maybe there is some well modulated, out of work switchboard operator living in the storeroom next to my office.

But what really freaks me out is the fact that the phone displays my name. Not my full legal name, like in my signature, which would give it sort of a professional, impersonal feel. It simply says my name. My Name. It’s way too personal for a damn phone.

It’s sitting right in front of me, staring at me and making unauthorized use of my name. Every time it catches my eye, I can hear Anthony Hopkins’ voice.

“Clarice…”

8 comments:

Princess of Everything (and then some) said...

I hate the phone lady and she hates me. I *hear* what she is really thinking but does not say.

*shudders*

BTW...my 7 is working just fine! You are not living right.

annie said...

You two are so funny...how do y'all ever get any work done?

Presbyterian Gal said...

""Clarice..."" BWAHAHAHAHA. I am still laughing. I'm sorry you're having phone icks, but then again I'm not because this gave me such a laugh. *wipes tears*

and...

"maybe there is some well modulated, out of work switchboard operator living in the storeroom next to my office.", yup and she sits right next to the unshaven guy with the karaoke machine who does the 'music on hold'.

SpookyRach said...

Mindy - Ain't that the truth!

Annie - That reminds me of a story. I'll try to remember to tell it.

PG - BWAAHAHA! Now I'm cryin' about the dude with the hold music. I think he has a kazoo. Or maybe just a hair comb and a piece of wax paper.

Patti said...

My voice mail lady hates me too. She might like me better if I checked my messages once in a while.

SpookyRach said...

I tried that, Patti. It didn't work.

Trace said...

I'm catching up on comments again.

"Don't look Clarice!"

Diesel said...

Quid pro quo, Clarice.

I worked at my last job for 3 years and I can honestly say that I never learned how to check my voicemail. I hope nobody called.