Thursday, April 19, 2007

I feel like a character in West Side Story

So, I decided I wanted to start carrying my briefcase again. There is a reason why, but it is so convoluted and ultimately insignificant that it's not even worth explaining. Suffice it to say, I have spent the last three days making half-hearted attempts at finding the damn thing. Last night I came home determined to tear the house apart if need be to find it. I knew it was there somewhere - I just couldn't find it.



Turns out, it was in the last place I looked!



(Ain't that always the case?) (heh, heh.)



So, I opened it, expecting it to be a yawning chasm of empty space, pleading for me to fill it with accumulated crud. It wasn't empty.



Do any of you who actually know me in surreal life recognize this knife? Seriously? I don't carry weapons, as a general rule. My theory is if you need a weapon, you're not talking fast enough. I don't remember this at all. Where did it come from? Why the hell is it in my briefcase?

Its old and the leather sheath is brittle and cracked. The knife is a little rusty but its still quite sharp. It has a comfortable heft and fits nicely in my hand. When I hold it, I have an almost overwhelming urge to stab things.

Jackson doesn't recognize it. No one I work with claims to know anything about it. In the most approved CSI fashion, I analyzed it carefully and determined that the rubber band is of a type found in my grandfather's rubber band stash. And the knife is impressively sharp like he would have kept it. However, the sheath and blade show evidence of having liquid spilled on them and he would never have let something like that happen. No sir!

So, my forensic investigation has gotten me no where.

I am clueless. This puzzle remains unsolved. Anyone else wanna take a stab at it?

13 comments:

Presbyterian Gal said...

"if you need a weapon, you're not talking fast enough" *still laughing at this one*

Theories: It will depend on where you found the briefcase and who all would have had access to it. But disregarding that for now, like any good investigator these days would do:

1. The last repairperson who was inside your house committed a grisly crime and hid the weapon here.

2. You have really strange neighbors.

3. Someone in your house has a profound disassociative disorder. Perhaps a pet?

Those are my 3 tries. Let us know what you discover CSI Spooky!!

Captainwow said...

Holy fricken cow! That is so wild!!

When you figgger it out you'll have to tell us wtf?

Princess of Everything (and then some) said...

You ought to see her eyes when she holds it.

*shudders*

SpookyRach said...

Presbygirl: I think you might be right about the disassociative disorder. Perhaps EvilSteve the cat has gone over the edge...?

CW: Weird, huh?

POEATS: MUHAAAAHAHAHAHA!

amy said...

Did you ever bring the breif case to work? Could one of your clients (is that what you call them?) have slipped it in when you weren't looking?

zorra said...

How long has it been since you used that briefcase? A real long time? Could whoever spilled stuff on the knife and sheath have hidden it so your grandfather wouldn't find out? Grasping at straws here.

don't eat alone said...

Hey! That knife belongs to my second cousin twice removed on my mother's side. How did you get it? We've been looking for that thing.

Peace,
Milton

Presbyterian Gal said...

P.S. used your name (then ran like hell....haha) in a link on my later post today

annie said...

Anyone else wanna take a stab at it? You are so punny!

I don't know how it got there, I just wandered in to see the latest Friday cemetery blog and here is this knife. People, wake up! She's just trying to distract us from the fact that you've got no Friday cemetery blog!

The knife looks like a Buck or a Case knife with a bone handle, and as such, it might hold a little monetary value, particularly if it is an older Case. The markings on the metal part will give a clue as to how old the knife is...or it could just be a WalMart knock-off special, of no value whatsover.

How in the Sam Hill do you think it got in your briefcase? I hope you can get this figured out and get back to us with the scoop.

Enquiring minds want to know.

P M Prescott said...

Gremlins

beth said...

I vote for EvilSteve.

DogBlogger said...

Read this post to The Alpha, and he thought you might like to see this.

Trace said...

Hey, what about the box story you told us about a while back?

Eerie, huh?