My uncle once: paid for my dinner. It was last night. I was happily grazing the chinese buffet and enjoying a good book. He was eating there with friends and picked up my check. Thanks!
High school was: when I got a ton of good reading done. Not as an assignment, but kicked back at my desk waiting for the next class.
I will never forget: my first cell phone number - xxx-9666.
I once met: A nearly naked, angry little Palestinian man.
Once at a bar: I heard a really great jazz combo that I swore I would keep up with because I knew they would be famous one day. You notice I didn't list their name under the "I will never forget" entry.
By noon I'm usually: Hungry, thirsty, and wondering what to draw.
Last night: I had the evening to myself so I naturally spent it productively by playing The Sims2. (One of my Sims had twins. I tried to let one of 'em croak because they were a real pain. I feel a bit bad about that.)
If only I had: the power to fly.
Next time I go to church: Ester and I will be walking to church after work to do what we laughingly call a workout.
When I turn my head left: An Edward Gorey poster.
When I turn my head right: I see a stack of stuff to do. Thankfully it is smaller than it was when I got to work this morning.
You know when I'm lying when: I say "Oh my gosh! That is too too adorable! I just love pink, don't you? Where did you get it? I just won't breathe again until I have one too! Cute, cute, cute!!"
Every day I think about: Methamphetamine.
By this time next year: I will have already harvested tomatoes from my not-so-weed-infested garden.
I have a hard time understanding: The love of NASCAR.
If I ever go back to school I'll: Study art. Or maybe English. Hell, no. Not English. Just art.
You know I like you when: I don't clean up my language around you.
If I won an award the first person I'd thank is: Depends on what I won.
My ideal breakfast is: Bacon, Egg, Cheese and Potato burritos with mucho hot sauce.
A song I love, but do not have is: A really good version of The Water is Wide.
If you visit my hometown, I suggest: Slow the hell down! Or you'll miss it! They took out the stoplight so you really have to be looking for it to find it. Remember City Grocery? Its closed. (Yeah, I know, I know - that automatically makes me old.)
Why won't anyone: learn how to paint some decent graffitti around here? Amateurs, they're all amateurs!
If you spend the night at my house: Don't be skeered! You can use the towel in the guest bathroom that says "Property of the Bates Motel" and the skull and crossbones nightlight will cast an eerie glow that will help you find your way.
I'd stop my wedding for: Johnny Depp and/or Krispy Kremes.
The world could do without: Network television.
I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: tweeze my eyebrows.
Paper clips are more useful than: Geeze, I hate paperclips! They smack of indecision. Either staple it or leave it loose but keep yer clips away from me! And did I mention their breeding habits? Its just gross to imagine what sort of carnality is going on in your desk drawer, even as you read this.
If I do anything well: I owe it all to comic books.
And by the way: I keep losing my pepper spray. If someone tried to attack me I'd be asking them to have a seat while I search my desk. Doesn't matter anyway, because I'm pretty sure I would point it in the wrong direction if I tried to use it. Wonder why they don't give me a gun? What I really need is a bow and arrow. I used to be a good shot with arrows.
The last time I was drunk: Never been drunk! I have enough fun on my own.