Tuesday, December 14, 2004

Head Swells, Then Bursts

I am a superhero. I can do anything. Yes - Its true. Just ask my niece. Whenever I say "Who is Ray-Ray?" she knows to say "Ray-Ray is Wonder Woman".

My powers, which are far beyond those of mortal men, were put to the test this weekend. Jackson was in the hospital with a gaping, toothless, mouth-shaped wound in his gut. (Not to fear - it was supposed to be there.) The wound has to be packed so it can heal from the inside out.

We were about to leave to go home on Sunday when the nurse, a very nice Asian lady with a heavy accent, came in to change the dressing.

"Stand back," I said, adopting my best superhero pose. "I will have to do this at home, so let me try it out now."

The nurse gave me the packing material (unfortunately not bubble wrap) and some long, wooden-handled Q-tippy things to poke it in with. I went to work and was doing what I thought was a damn good job - not feeling woozy or nuthin.

Then, just as I finished -- BLAM! The wooden Q-tip handle thing snapped in two! ZING - half of it flew across the room!

"Ahh..." said the nurse. "You a little tense, no?"

Heh. Heh. Maybe just a little. Heh.


Captainwow said...

makes me woozy just readin about it
oh. man.

bobbie said...

me too - yuck. hope jackson is healing well. you are still wonder woman to me for even being willing to do that, i'm with captain wow - woozy - ewe!

Jackson said...

Wonder Woman Hell, I was just glad I survived the ordeal and thought to myself: " Self, if she breaks that damn thing when the nurse is standing right there, think about what is going to happen when you are solely in her hands at home and relying on her for care." Self nearly crapped his pants, but wait, i think Self actually did crap his pants.