I haven't had time to find a cemetery picture for you this week. Its been really hectic. Its been a week of unhappy change at work and non-stop softball at home. I am really pretty damn tired of softball.
That's not really true - I enjoy watching the kids play, but I think when the Good Lord sees fit to actually send us some rain we should do our damndest to be thankful for it. If the rain causes the cancellation of your frickin' softball game, so be it. Take it as a sign from the Almighty and cross it off your list.
Well, enough from that soapbox. In addition to having a really full week, the corn is now shoulder high in the field next to my house. Have I mentioned that I am allergic to corn? The year we bought the house, the farmer was growing sunflowers. It was lovely. The rest of the time we've lived there, he's grown corn. Sneeze, sneeze!
In addition to all the snot, my nose has had a rather rough week. I have a rather protuberant proboscis. This week I slammed it with a car door. That hurt real bad, let me tell ya. The top of Jackson's car door comes to a protuding point right at the level of the bridge of my nose. I reached for door handle, pulled the door open, and wham! It left a lovely bruise and a small knot that looks just like a big zit. I can't tell you how happy I am about that. Now when I sneeze, the bruise hurts as well. And it doesn't even rate a show of sympathy because everyone just thinks I have a touch of pizza face.
Then there is the cat, Evil Steve.
I don't know what her deal is. I feed her. I let her sleep behind my knees on the bed. I present an unshod foot whenever demanded for her nuzzling pleasure. I buy her toys and make sure her big brother doesn't do any lasting damage to her when he finally tires of her nagging, back-biting and occassional eye gouging.
Is it too much to ask that she be available for the occassional bit of furry comfort during a long and difficult week for me and my nose? Evidently, yes, it is too much.
I picked her up to snuggle against my cheek. She said "Put me down, bitch!"
Ever the optomist, I said, "Oooh, sweet baby Steve...you don't really mean that."
So she bit me. On the eyebrow.
I had blood running down from my eye like tears. If I'd been a statue of the madonna, y'all would've all been trooping through my living room to gape at me and ask for miracles. Sorry-ass cat.
Of course, how many times have I told Katie "Put the cat down! She doesn't like to be held and she is going to bite you. Put her down!" Uh-huh.
And the best part? The bite left a big scab which I decided was rather unsightly. I scrubbed it away and dabbed and blotted and hoped for the best. I got all the blood off and the puncture wound swelled just a bit. Now it looks like - you guessed it - a big zit.
I'm hoping next week is better.
26 comments:
Oh, poor Spookyrach! Let me make you some chicken soup...
(No, I don't have family in Iraq. But my friend's [another 2nd grade teacher] husband is there. His group found the bodies of the two kidnapped soldiers. She is really having a tough time, and so are her boys.)
The cat warned you oh Virgin Rachel.
Chicken soup sounds good, Patti! (I'm sorry for your friend. I can't even imagine how hard that must be.)
Princess O.E. - you are right, but umm... Virgin Rachel? Cause, well, we may need to talk.
**If I'd been a statue of the madonna, y'all would've all been trooping through my living room to gape at me and ask for miracles.**
Madonna....Virgin Rachel...get it?
OOOOOOOHHHH! That makes a lot of sense. 'Specially since I collect Virgin Mary statues, right? (Hmm...possible upcoming blog post about the Virgin Statues...)
Ouch!
Why are cats so difficult?
Hee hee! That's a good idea, Linda.
"This week we'll be featuring spookyrach's crusty milk moustache. Stay tuned for next week's expose of eye boogers!"
And then this week we will see Rach flipping us the bird when she no longer wants her face on the Friday blog.
Are you sure we aren't related?
Corn allergies - check (but I eat tortillas anyway... and chips)
Religious iconic art collections - check
Old cemetery ramblin' - check
Texas Gal till death and then some - check
We better check our family trees...
You may have something there, Pattie. How tall are ya? Do you drive a truck? (oh, skip that. It was a stupid question.) Do you also think the Mexican food in New Mexico, while essentially good, is just not quite up to par?
Dang, you got Cowtown Pattie commenting on your blog. You rate!
That's some mighty hefty load of suckage you had goin this week. You'd better be careful, if it gets any worse you may find yourself working for the postal service.
I do hope things get better for you, but you turned your multiple facial traumas into an amazingly entertaining post.
How bad is it that your retelling of Evil Steve made me laugh till I cried? Cause that's just mean! (but a little funny, too)
Jim - you devil child...
I am 5'7" tall. Used to drive a bright yeller Ford truck, but traded it in for a sucky Expedition when accepting a proposal a couple of years ago and we needed room for two stepteens.
New Mexico food lacks...I dunno...zip. Tex-Mex is definitely my choice. Besides, it's hard to find Shiner Boch in New Mexico...
That's a whole lot of facial drama, Rach. I hope next week is better.
Allergic to corn? Does that mean you can't eat it either? And what about popcorn?...Or do you mean you are allergic to the silk tassel things?
ouch
and start petitioning for sunflowers again. Don't farmers rotate crops anymore?????? sigh
but confession time - your post made me laugh. thanks for sharing :)
Oh, I can certainly eat corn, in all its fattening forms. Its the plant and pollen and silks and all that stuff that I'm allergic too.
Yeah, I thought the same thing about crop rotation, Lorna. He makes some vague efforts at it, but evidently only grows sunflowers if his cotton gets hailed out early in the season.
As for the sucky expedition, CP - the fact that you fully recognize its suckiness keeps you on the straight and narrow. There's still hope!
I have 2 questions.
#1-if you are alergic to corn then why did yall move into a house that was like 2 blocks away from a corn maze?????
#2-WHY IN THE HECK DID YOU NAME A GIRL CAT STEVE(that might be the reason she has been bitting???)
Dear Bebo,
So nice to hear from you again. How is the fire business? (You know its illegal if you start them yourself, right?)
In response to your questions:
1. I was there first. And besides rumor has it they won't be growing the maze this year. Just the corn in nice, neat little rows.
2. Obviously, her name is Steve because Jackson got to name her since she was his cancer cat. He named her after the Croc Hunter on the Discovery channel. I would have named her Zarathustra or something.
3 things
1- Yes i know that it is illegal to start a fire.
2-I will be upset that they are not going to do the corn maze again this year(my class can go for free)
3-Ask jackson why in the HECK he would name a cat after the croc hunter!!!
Four items, in response:
1. I recommend trash burning. Always a favorite activity of mine.
2. I guess the maze didn't make enough money last year. I dunno. We went through it last year, and while I enjoyed it, I thought it was way overpriced.
3. Jackson is weird like that.
4. I don't have anything to add, but I wanted to keep up with the add-on theme.
2 more things.....
#1-hahahahahahaha(we got in for free)hahahahahahaha
#2- ya lost me on the last thing
sorry 1 more thing....
I have thought about trash burning...but I dont think my mama and dad would approve:(
Rach, you live next to a corn maze? I have this fantasy of growing one in the piney woods where we stayed while waiting to go back home after the hurricane, and charging people to go thorugh it. However, I don't think those country people would be dumb enough to pay me to walk through my corn maze, and if the city people come, I'd have to install bathrooms and stuff.
I want to go through one, but I thought they were all far away, like in Nebraska or somewhere...
Can you put on one of those masks and take pictures of the maze???
So! Now you HAVE to come visit us and go through the corn maze. The one next to my house was very small, but still fun. There is a much bigger one just a few miles down the road.
Send me your email address and I will send you their webpage.
cadec11_tx@hotmail.com
You big baby, Steve did not tag you that bad and as far as the nose bumping goes, I figured living with that big honker this long, you would have learned to not "lead" with the nose.hehehe
Now as far as this softball business, "YOUR IN BIG TROUBLE MISTER". Et Tu Ray Ray? Talking ugly about softball, besides we do not need it to rain on a game night, if it does that means that the game will be rescheduled and therefore cause the season to last even longer. You mentioned you like to watch the kids play, but nothing about the marvels of Jackson's coaching skills, how rude.
BEBO, that sorry cat is named Steve because she has an adventurous attitude, much like the croc hunter. Of course I have tried to get her (the cat that is) to run off or to be carried off several times, but Ray Ray always says no. So next time your at the house, make sure you lock your car doors or you might find a cat has been put inside.
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