Thursday, August 25, 2016

100 Things Divorce Taught Me: 7th Heavenish

52.  I am occasionally 'entertaining' again, to borrow a wretched phrase from HGTV.  I did it all the time when I was single.  When I was married, we intended to do it. We talked about doing it. We never did it. There is that pressure to be good hosts, to have the perfect party, to invite the right mix of people.  We always talked about doing it, but never did, knowing it wouldn't be perfect.
 
How lame.

Now I'm back to hosting people like I did, lo, these many years ago.  I vacuum and try to get the worst of the dog hair off the seldom used furniture.  And that's it.  People know to come bearing food or prepared to go hungry.  I don't cook or try to have the perfect setting or guest list or anything else.  I just open the door and enjoy the laughter.

One thing has improved, though.  I used to call these BYOC parties.  Bring your own chair.  Because I had no real furniture in those post-college, single days.  Now, at least, I do provide you a place to sit.

53. I think I might have found a way to watch college football games without use of satellite service.  We don't even HAVE cable service available out here in the sticks.  If this works, I'm canceling satellite.  This whole thing of not watching TV unless you actually want to WATCH TV is really a life-changer.

55.  I think maybe I like baseball.  I have hated watching baseball my entire life.  Loathed it actually.  I don't mind softball, as it is a much faster paced game.  Learned that from being married.  But since being divorced, I've missed football -  season's end grief is a normal yearly experience, regardless of marital status - and I wanted something to just listen to while drawing.  There is only so much of the ungratefully pretentious white people you can stomach on HGTV, so I fell into baseball by default.  I may be a convert.

56.  How do you divorce a woman who loves football and fishing?  What were you thinking? Mindy declares me a closeted lesbian.  That made me smile, but alas, no.  I am, however, really good girlfriend material.

57.  It takes me a really long time to get to the point of asking for help.  Personally, professionally, metaphorically, any other "ly"s I can think of.  Lots of different reasons for that, I guess.  Most of the time I can fake my way through just about anything.  I'm a pretty capable person. But here and there life would be much easier if I would just say "Hey!  I could use a hand here."  This is not some sort of vague facebook-esque post where I'm hoping you will all jump up with your hands out and offer to pull me from the depths of my as yet undeclared despair.  Not at all - I truly (see what I did there?) do not need help at the moment.  It's just something I'm becoming aware of - a character flaw, a flake in my personality.  Something to work on.

58.  It's been almost exactly one year since my marriage ended with a single ten-minute conversation.  When I think about it, it feels like it's only been a matter of weeks.  Most of the time, I don't think about it.  (Contrary to what you might think from reading these lists.  ha!) I've got better things to do and lots more books to read.

59.  I am going to have to give in and pay someone to give me a back rub.  

60.  I don't know what this has to do with divorce, but I need to buy a new pair of cowboy boots.


14 comments:

Janet Seright said...

caught it

spookyrach said...

Good job!

annie said...

I'm enjoying your lists. Today I just want to come hang out at your house for a few days!

spookyrach said...

YES!!! DO it!! There are multiple guest rooms and Janet even provided a coffee maker, so you should be all good. Bring your own food. :D

Seriously. You know how we southerners are - an invitation is never real until it's been made three times? Consider this the fifth or sixth time.

Princess of Everything (and then some) said...

I had a great time playing games at your house! And there was lots of good. You are wonderful girlfriend material for either team. *snorts*

I also think that we have a new Chinese rubby down place next to Beall's!! It's not open yet. I will keep you updated!

spookyrach said...

Excellent! Chinese rubby down could be just the thing!

We need to play Cards again soon!

Cyn Huddleston said...

I enjoyed your hospitality. And your dogs. The cats really didn't take to me but cats, so. I think you should open Raquel's BYO, a modest bed and dog retreat. I'd stay there.

Princess of Everything (and then some) said...

My cat's absolutely loved Cyn. Like would have gone home with her.

spookyrach said...

Actually. I sort of have a plan for this. Not a real B&B, but a by-invitation-only sort of a thing. BYOF.

Unknown said...

I started paying somebody to rub my back after my divorce and now I'm remarried and it's the one thing I won't give up. It's in the budget. It's worth it.

<3 you.

beth

Anonymous said...

I love these! Also, I'm going to knock off this wifey-woman I know so I can set you up with her widower. You can thank me later.
~Lois

spookyrach said...

That's good advice, Beth. I will put it in the budget.

True friendship is offering to off someone so one can have the leftovers. You go, Lois. Just, ya know, don't get caught.

stinuksuk said...

Go and get that massage! They are most wonderful. you will feel better afterwards and get rid of any residual tension. You have learned much in this past year. Healing takes more than time, it takes love and the support of those who care about you. You are so on the way!

spookyrach said...

Good advice, Stinuksuk. You're right - I'm well on the way.