Wednesday, May 04, 2016

100 Things Divorce Taught Me: a fifth

32. Being single is expensive.  I'm paying other people to do things for me that might have been spousally accomplished in the past.  Or I'm paying people to do things for me because I can't be in two places at once.  I can't claim head of household on my tax return because I'm single and had the temerity not to breed.  And single people are taxed at a higher rate. Grocery buying is cheaper now, but I eat out more. 
33.  I am rediscovering the ability to accomplish some tasks that I'd been leaving to others for years.  Mostly I'm enjoying it.  And when I don't enjoy it, I can hire some to do it for me.  See #32.
 34.  I now know that it takes exactly one gallon of water to flush my toilet.  
35.  ...and how to read the water meter.
36.  I already knew how to use that long tool thing to turn the water on and off.  
37.  I can now hot wire my sprinkler system control box, thus negating the expense of putting in a new box.   
38.  My lawn-mower miraculously healed itself.  Just in the nick of time before my next door neighbor beat me about the head and shoulders with his weed-eater.  He tries to be civil, but he's deeply annoyed by me.  I am highly entertained by that and now that I'm single, it's harder for him to be as rotten as he'd like to be.  He used to complain by telling me to "tell your husband...".  Now he's hoist by the petard of his own misogyny because he can't quite bring himself to complain directly to me regarding the grass clippings that floated onto his lawn, causing him to have to re-rake.  That would involve a level of male-female interaction that makes him distinctly uncomfortable.  Score for me. 
39.  I feel certain I could've learned how to rebuild the carburetor on said lawn-mower by watching YouTube videos.  But I'm really sort of tired of having to do that.  Glad I didn't have to do it with the mower. 
40.  Empty photo frames are a bit of a challenge.  In my house I have lots of different frames of different styles that were previously filled with pictures of, or including, the ex, as he was both handy and generally cooperative as a model.  I've put all the pictures away.  Interestingly, the only sadness I've found in that was a bit of pique because some of the photos were good shots that I was pretty proud of.  Now I'm refilling the frames with other people. Or trying to, anyway.  I find that I need to take more pictures of people who interest me.
41.  Silence is my muse. 

11 comments:

Cyn Huddleston said...

I think this is my favorite set of learnings.

spookyrach said...

Really? Cool! I need to take your picture.

Beth Stoddard said...

I'm just gonna be silent here for a minute.

😀

beth

spookyrach said...

~whispers~ Ok. (Glad to see your picture!)

Princess of Everything (and then some) said...

I think that this is my favorite too. FFFFIIINNNEE!! I will be your model muse. Just for you.

Seriously, Your list are spot on.

spookyrach said...

Work it girl! The camera loves ya, baby! Hahahà!

Martha Spong said...

That's so hard about the pictures. I feel you.

Anonymous said...

So excited this morning when I flipped on here, and found you had continued your list. Poor neighbor, has to deal with a WOMAN!!!! LOL ct

spookyrach said...

Thanks, Martha and Cindy. :D

Reverend Ref + said...

Echoing the thoughts of the others about this list in particular. But if you will allow me to tie two of them together . . .

Numbers 34, 35, 36, and 37
Combined with
April 13: So What Do I Want to Do With the Rest of My Life?

May I suggest the birth of Spooky's Plumbing & Electrical Service

You're welcome. ;)

spookyrach said...

Bwaahahahahaaa!!!!!

I hate you, Ref. ;)