Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Sticky Fingers

I just had to toss out some red hots. They tasted funny. Who knew a red hot could eventually go bad? They tasted sort of vinegary. I am the queen of old candy. I like candy, but I seldom eat it. I can’t stand chocolate by itself. It must have nuts or no thank you, no ma’am. Dark chocolate reeks in all its forms but white chocolate is a joy forever. I’m constantly getting candy from various sources and keeping it, intact, for long periods of time. Maybe its some sort of hoarding thing.

My co-workers, who occasionally wander the halls chanting for chocolate, have learned to temper their acceptance of my gifts. When I offer candy they immediately ask “How long have you had this?” When I say “Only since Easter,” they then want to know “which Easter? This year’s or last’s?" (Notice proper use of apostrophes, PPB.)

I’d much rather have a bag of potato chips than a candy bar. Although the occasional Snickers bar does get snarfed at my house.

Anyway, back to the elderly red hots. How weird is that? I’d only had them six or eight months. They should still be ok. I’m mean sure, they were a bit hard because I’d opened the box back when I bought them and eaten a couple. But other than that…

Well, if you need a snack, let me know. Hey, C – I still have some of those bible-study Oreos left. Wanna share?

17 comments:

jonboy said...

Down with candy and improper usage of apostraphes -- I will refrain from pointing out that you have used one too many.

Improper apostraphes are like candy that gets stuck in your teeth ... the little sucker (pun intended) gets wedged in there and you just can't pry it out.

SpookyRach said...

Just because you are diseased, jonboy...

cheesehead said...

Maybe they got wet.

The red-hots, I mean, not the apostrophes.

Wet candy...(shudders)

Christmas Lights in June, Texas said...

Rach you are so funny. Did you ever find the dubbie that Aunt Jan was talking about? Lol, you have old candy! I had to throw mine out cause of the whole diet thing, but i am not above finding a skittle in the car seat and eating it.

Princess of Everything (and then some) said...

Rach is the only person I know that can eat on a Snickers for 3 days. It will come out of her lunch sack each day at lunch and she will eat a few bites and then re-wrap for the next day. Snickers should be INHALED.

And jonboy is just weird.

Captainwow said...

Yum! Want RED HOTS NOW!!

I see we BOTH tackled sticky subjects today.... (great pun you made there by the way!)

Bad Alice said...

Good grief! My problem is that a bag of candy will disappear in HOURS if I am left alone with it. Even candy I don't much like. I probably would have the freshest candy around, except that I've already eaten it. At least I have some guilt and haven't raided the kiddies' Halloween pumpkins. Not much, anyway.

Headless-in-GR said...

Alas, we have parted ways...

HOW can you not LOVE dark chocolate!??!? Dark Chocolate is like expensive red wine, like rubies, like deep waters at sunset! Look within yourself!!! Look deep within! You must love it somewhere down in there...!

SpookyRach said...

Dear Headless-in-Wonkaville,

Dark chocolate is like the gunk that floats in the bottom of a coffee pot. It is like the deep waters of the water-treatment facility at noon-tide. It is like cheap screw-top wine in a sack, like truck-stop tourquoise. I have looked deep within myself and found a pure, silky, exquisite fountain of white chocolate!

Headless-in-GR said...

White chocolate - plah!

White chocolate is like tepid water on a hot day in Texas! It's like off-brand processed cheese slices - no wait - worse than that, it is like an open bag of 3 month old cheese puffs in the trunk of your car. It is Gerber Baby Food peas in a jar!

SpookyRach said...

Dark Chocolate - ick!

It is like the smell of roofing asphalt in the summer. Its like rye bread when you wanted a cinimmon roll. It is liver for dessert. It seeing the cool whip bowl in the fridge and being excited and then discovering it is filled with brussles sprouts.

(Thanks to Mindy for that last one.)

Bad Alice said...

Sigh. I've never met chocolate I didn't like, white, milk or dark. Except for some nasty bittersweet stuff from Trader Joe's. But otherwise I even like the awful waxy foil-wrapped eggs at Eastertime.

Running2Ks said...

I had no idea they could go bad either. Hmmm, I guess they fermented.

jonboy said...

Know the power of the Dark (chocolate) side .....

(deep, raspy breathing)

cheesehead said...

Will that poor Cool Whip bowl full of brussel sprouts ever get to die?

(laughing)

SpookyRach said...

I think it died already, revmom. It is living on in infamy!

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